Urdu Jokes

Nikammi

Jab ek khawand ney dekha key us ki nikammi moti biwi koi kaam nahi kerti or sarey kaam hatta ke khana tak usey khud banana parta hey to ek din ghar mein is tarah dakhil hua key ek haath mein silai machine thee, or doosrey mein qad-e-adam aaina.

Biwi ney bari haqarat or tanz sey poocha, yeh kia utha ker laa rahey ho?

Shohar bola: In dono mein sey tum ek cheez ka chunao ker lo. Ya to silai machine use ker key kaprey seena shuru ker do, ya phir is aainey mein apney aap ko dekhti raha karo key bhook key hathon kis tarah dubli hoti or marti ho

Sharaab na peena

Baap ney betey sey kaha: “Mein tumhein ek raaz ki baat bata raha hoon, jab tum barey ho jao to sharaab bilkul na peena”

Beta: “Laikin kyun daddy?”

Baap: “Dekho beta sharaab peeney sey aadmi ko cheezein dugni nazar aati hein, maslan woh jo samney do larkey jaa rahey hein woh tumhein chaar nazar aayein gey”

Beta: “Laikin daddy, woh to sirf ek larka hey!”

sardarji jokes

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.



Shalwaar Gili

barrish ho aur zameen gilli na ho,
dhup niklay aur surso pilli na ho,
to phir app nay yeh kasay soch liya kay
neend may ap ki yaad ahay aur shalwar gili na ho..

santa

Santa was inserting dog’s tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon